Who am I? What is my worth? Do people notice and appreciate me for who I am?
In a world where we are bombarded with messages about what matters and who is important, it can be hard to remember our worth. You need to wear this kind of clothing, drive this kind of car, have this many followers and make this kind of money. Honestly, it can be exhausting to try and keep up!
This past weekend, I went on a solo salmon fishing trip. Throughout my time, I experienced some high-highs and low lows. After taking some time to reflect on the trip, I'd like to offer a few thoughts on identity:
At the river, I was fishing beside a father and his adult son. They were consistently hooking and landing beautiful coho salmon. When I started talking to them, it turns out that the father visits the river about four times a week! I made it out once this fall. Lesson: Don't compare what you know about yourself to what you don't know about others! It's so easy for me to think that everyone else around me is lucky and I am not when in reality, they have put in countless hours on their craft. If I want to have similar success, it will likely take me putting in more time, asking more questions and being a little more patient.
On Saturday, the very first fish I hooked into was a hatchery, coho salmon! On the Vedder River, you can take hatchery fish home but need to put the wild salmon back into the water. (To determine a hatchery fish, check the adipose fin on the back of the salmon. If it is clipped, you can keep the fish!) I walked back to my truck that day feeling elated! Each person I passed by made comments that made me feel important and valuable. The next morning, I landed three wild coho salmon. That meant I couldn't take any of those fish with me. Lesson: Sometimes we feel prideful in things we have no control over. Instead of feeling pride, I hope I will feel gratitude when things go my way and remember my value doesn't increase when they don't.
As mentioned, on Sunday, I was catching wild coho salmon that needed to go back into the river. At the time, I was fishing beside a gentleman who wasn't having any luck. No bites - until ... a fish took his hook! As it turned out, the one fish he caught was a hatchery that he got to take home. Lesson: Feelings of jealousy decrease when we congratulate others on their success - even if it doesn't feel fair. This is a hard one for me. Oftentimes I feel like I am owed what I expect. As we all know, this simply isn't true.
I heard a quote from Joshua Medcalf that has always stuck with me: "My value comes from who I am, not from what I do." I don't know about you but I think this is one of the hardest truths to believe in the world. The notion that my worth doesn't go up and down like a roller coaster based on accomplishments and things that I often don't have control over.
I hope these simple lessons will be an encouragement for you today. Remember: You are loved and valuable - whether you bring a fish home or not!
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